The Winter solstice might be on December 21 – but if you ask us, Christmas day just has to be the longest day of the year. From sitting and watching the clock until you can scroll Instagram without feeling rude, to watching a backlog of festive crap on the tele. Here are the eleven inevitable stages that we all face on Christmas day.
1. Waking up far too early before regretting it one hour later
Because the excitement of Santa arriving is just too much. Not only are we looking forward to getting the day started, but we can’t wait to see everyone’s faces when they open the gifts we’ve bought them. Most importantly, though, bring on the turkey!
2. Exchanging gifts in the morning before realising there’s absolutely sod all left to do for the day
The excitement around opening and giving presents is so real, we’re absolutely deflated once it’s over. And let’s face it, giving people their gifts is one of the few exciting parts of the Christmas day stages – so once that’s done, there’s not much else to wait for.
3. Making yourself look busy with a binliner in hand so you don’t have to chop veg on Christmas morning
Need an out from helping to make Christmas dinner? The binliner trick always does the job. Pick up a bin bag, pop it around the gifts and just pick it up every now and then when someone re-enters the room.
4. Staring at the clock until dinner is finally served
Arguably the worst part of Christmas day? The painfully long wait until the dinner of the year. I’m drooling at just the thought of succulent pigs in blankets with crispy roasties, a giant Yorkshire pud (controversial, I know) and all the trimmings smothered in gravy. I. Can’t. Wait.
5. Piling your plate so high that there’s barely any room for dessert…
With anticipation comes eyes bigger than our bellies. Whether it’s piling up your first plate so high you can barely see the person sat opposite, or getting up for more so often it’s basically a game of musical chairs – we’re all guilty of overindulging on Christmas day. And that’s before the desserts even come out.
6. … And then plonking your backside on the sofa and feeling like crap for a few hours
What feels like five years pass in the time you decide to settle your tum and get up again, and if you’re anything like my family, you’ll probably end up skipping everything else and keeping your ass firmly on the sofa for the rest of the day. Because what else is there to do but drink leftover fizz in front of the tele?
7. Being forced into playing board games with your family when the booze has started to wear off
There’s nothing worse than that limbo point of the day when someone suggests playing a board game for something to do – especially after the lunchtime fizz has begun to wear off. At this point, there’s only one thing left to do – and that’s crack open another bottle and embrace the remainder of the day.
8. Re-plonking your backside on the sofa to browse what’s on the tele before sitting disappointed
Because all that’s on is Mrs Brown’s Boys. Again.
9. Inevitably escaping to bed earlier because (what feels like) 80,000 hours with your family is more than enough…
7pm bedtime? Go on then. There’s nothing better than that feeling of contentment after a wholesome Christmas day, tucking up with your (likely) brand new PJs on and popping something on Netflix. Bliss.
10. … Before sitting up all night spending all your money on the Christmas sales
Once you get bored with that, there are the inevitable Christmas sales that just cannot be escaped. And I can guarantee I fall victim to them again this year.
11. Getting the Christmas blues and wishing it was Christmas Eve all over again
While it might feel like a slog, there’s no denying that we’ll always love Christmas day. The feeling of getting to spend quality time with our loved ones is unbeatable, and again, we can’t forget the turkey dinner. It really is the best. Why can’t we just have it every day?